Tag Archives: farming

Super mom is dead.

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Super mom is dead.

I sat in my daughters horseback riding lesson, up in the upper viewing area. I sat there with another homeschool mom. We chatted for a while, it’s nice to have someone to talk to. I was reading a book on my iPad and she was going through her grocery list, recipes and printed ingredients list. I glanced over and sighed. I wish I could be like that, but really it’s just not going to happen. Not in this lifetime, nope. I started letting my mind go down the rabbit hole, you know the one. perfect homeschool mom, perfect organized house, perfect super intelligent kids. I looked at my daughter through the window she sat taller, smiled at me, I smiled back her grin was really infectious. I looked over at my friend asking her husband if he liked a certain recipe. My husband was driving my other daughter to soccer and well I don’t even think we ate. Sigh. I also forgot my daughters homework, well I didn’t, she did. The truth is she has a slight dyslexia and well her working memory is well not working for her. I chatted a little more and found out that this other homeschooling mom has 2 daughters with Dyslexia, and well she struggled with the same things I did. she just was a little more organized than me. We chatted and laughed about our circumstances and funny thing, I really didn’t care if she had all her recipes and lists. I know what my family likes. I can cook well and most days what’s a recipe?Mom

The next day I was on Facebook or fakebook, however you choose to view it. I was being informed by people I actually know and respect that if I didn’t take a particular health drink, wellness product, diet supplement ,(whatever) I was categorized as a supplement snob.I also have heard that I’m apparently supposed to be a super mom. naps are not okay and we need this wonderful , amazing , product for energy.( Where in the world did we ever get the idea that we were not supposed to be tired?? )Seriously.( disclaimer; I know people are trying to be healthy and um  make money, I’m all for it. But I am not for highschool pressure and bandwagon advertising. I’m for sustainable health that can be grown, not bought.If this particular health choice is for you, have at it. But please stay off my news feed with your sales pitches. Thanks) I mean is this highschool where we pressure moms ( who in my opinion are already under so much pressure) to purchase products?  It brought me back to one day at my high school, Nonnewaug in Woodbury Ct. I was not the kind of person to follow fashions, fads or people. I was very much just me. Save your brand names for someone who actually cares, I don’t. I’ve seen people in designer jeans punch the lights out of a sweet overweight boy and I’ve seen dept. store clothing on a skinny nerd protect that same boy from the popular bully. Clearly clothes don’t make the person. Anyway I’m in the bathroom and this popular, designer girl says to me,” Oh hey I love your shirt. Did you get this at”( totally forget where) I actually had bought this shirt after work, at the mall, but there was something in me that just could not tell her that. So I looked her right in the eye and said” Actually I got this at Kmart, On Sale.” She got really red and said, “oh um”, and walked out. I washed my hands with a special smirk on my face. So here I am on Facebook and I have absolutely NO desire to follow diet fads or homeschool fads or any such thing. I’m me. That’s it. If I like something on Facebook and my whole world didn’t like it, I like it. I don’t wait for someone I know to like it. God made me an individual. That means I’m gonna like, do and be things others completely disagree with. I will not follow the herd. I actually do not care if people talk about my blog , my choice in music or how I raise my children. I just can only do the thing God called me to do, and that means being me. (Which surprisingly is really difficult to do).

So I ignore the sales pitches on Facebook, I disregard how to organize your home in 10 easy steps. I drink my delicious coffee and smile. When I’m tired, I allow myself time to unwind, read, sleep, whatever I have to do to rejuvenate. There was a once upon a time where I felt guilty for it. I mean I’m a Christian and a homeschooling mom. I’m supposed to work harder than everyone. I’m supposed to farm, teach, clean , drive, love, be the perfect mom, wife and believer. I nearly killed myself.( and i am serious, depression, nerve pain which i still have forever, along with my mind which betrays me. bad stuff) So now that I have 4 back surgeries under my ,um belt? I decided that I definitely did not fit the qualifications for supermom. I fit the qualifications for Barb, who gets tired during the day, who absolutely loves super heroes( like cute ones LOL) who loves Ron Paul, Joel Salatin and thinks very Libertarian. Who loves Tom Woods but wishes my mind could think like him. I love my kids, but honestly this homeschooling is hard and there are days I’d ship them off to Narnia. They can drive me right to the brink of crazy and back.( I think my husband wonders if I came back) I love my husband and we have a great relationship. I don’t post mushy , I love my husband posts. Honestly we are not like that. We laugh, zing each other, yell at each other and we both accept the days of exhaustion that consume us and fall in our beds mumbling about how tired we are LOL. I don’t need people to think we are perfect or my kids are perfect. They aren’t. We are all undone right? I’m also someone who cannot tolerate heat, like the overwhelming kind. It makes me freak out and think about things I usually don’t even think about. I hate to hear about suffering of any kind, it gives me a terror or sense of dread I could never explain. I will always speak out about anyone who abuses children and I don’t care if they were your favorite Christian celebrity,rock star or President. That doesn’t make me bitter, unforgiving and helpless,  that makes me passionate and mad as heck that people abuse power and trust. Please don’t tell me how to heal or forgive with idioms or preaching videos. I honestly don’t need them. I function( most days) just fine The past is the past until it steps on the heels of the present. Then I have to refocus and regroup. Yes that is hard, yes it messes with my mind and yes i have to fight for everything I’m worth.There is no magic wand to erase the feeling of dread, of complete utter terror. It’s not going to go away. (where are the MIB when you need them?) So here’s me. A bit of a mess, A bit crazy and a whole lot sarcastic. I am not a super mom. I don’t need a super pill. I have A Super God. He’s always been sufficient, even when I’m not. Be you. Living for everyone else is just exhausting!super god

Wonderful Worms!

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I read in my devotional this weekend. She says in so many words, Can I only find true wonder in exotic places. Do I have to travel the world to marvel? Can joy and wonder be found in the mundane? In the laughter of a child. In the twinkle of a star. What if the wonder is captured right here where we live, in these moments we experience. What if I could find that wonder even in a worm?winter worms 011This weekend I caught up on something I have been trying to get to forever. I usually am running around for everyone else. Saturday I finally said that’s it we are changing my worm Bin!!Yep, I am a Worm Farmer:o) I read a book a while back called Organic Farming. In it he described all about vericomposting. Vermicomposting is the process of using red worms to convert organic waste into rich humus(worm poop and just great soil for the garden or plants). I honestly thought they were dead. I have been to workshops on them. I was already supposed to have changed the bin. So here’s what I do. I put strips of Newspaper, hay, organic soil in a bin( the lid should have tiny holes drilled, not big enough for flies), lightly moist.I ordered red wrigglers. Not the same as earthworms. These guys are skinny and long. They eat your garbage. The books and workshops I went to made me feel overwhelmed. This is so easy. Put your worms in. Start adding compost. Leafy greens, egg shells( they say rinsed but I can’t say all mine were), coffee( no problem here), no hot spicy peppers. I added pumpkins but hard-shelled things didn’t do well..No snacks, No junk food. They won’t eat it! No citrus! They breathe through their skin so you really don’t want to imagine that horrific experience. Worms are both male and female. But they still need two to mate. winter worms 015They kind of curl together when mating.The eggs look like little white balls. You’ll probably think they are maggots or something. It’s exciting. Now at the bottom of my worm bin my awesome husband put a funnel with a screen . There is a tube coming off this funnel going into a container. I save this”worm tea”. It is concentrated black gold. A little fact about the castings or worm poop, or humus. The university of Georgia had one study that found plants fertilized with worm castings saw a 126-percent higher growth rate than those treated with chemical fertilizers!!! I did not need proof of a study . I use this on everything. My diluted worm tea goes on my garden. Forget Monsanto’s miracle grow. Sorry folks. Chemicals are not miracles! This was an awesome science project for my whole family. I love my worms. My worms were not dead, in fact there are so many we are doing two more bins!! winter worms 029
The kids got in the poop . Had a blast. So you are probably wondering if it smells? Nope.If you put the food under the top layer of hay or paper they eat it, no smell. You are doing it right! The worms eat half their weight in food. They say two pounds of worms eat one pound of waste. All I know is I put it in and they eat it!! Probably more than you wanted to know but I love it. Just think of all that garbage everywhere and these angels sent by A Creator to get rid of it for us. Amazing creatures . Sit back and wonder. winter worms 012