My daughter laid on our couch lifeless. I stood at the end weeping silently begging God to wake her up. My 8 year old daughter repeated in a sob” mom she’s dead isn’t she”. My husband whipped her onto the floor and began CPR he said in a quick breath ” call 911. I did. The man on the phone asked me all of the things he was supposed to, name address, what happened, then he said how many stairs? I said, “What? I don’t know ,she landed on her rear. She had a seizure, she’s not breathing.” My husband continued to work, to beg, to plead. “Wake up, please wake up.” I think my whole world went in pause mode. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breath . I just did not want this to be happening. After 6-7 minutes she finally started breathing. I hung up with 911 and laid on her and cried. I got up and called my sister. I couldn’t even breath. I answered the phone in a sob. “Oh my God Heather, Sierra just stopped breathing, She was dead. Dan just did CPR. I’m so scared.” That horrible day will be forever engraved in my mind. I haven’t even been able to talk about it much. This happened last year. I just know I was so close to losing my daughter and my heart has forever changed.
So please do me the favor of putting yourself in that scene. The scene where your daughters life hangs in the balance. You are watching your spouse do everything he can to save your child while you helplessly try to make sense of it. While you try to comfort your other daughter. While the only thing left to do is howl before the throne of God and beg Him to save your daughter. Now imagine someone saying to you” let me know if there is anything I can do for you”. Christians we are better than this.
What was I supposed to say? What do I need? Honestly I couldn’t tell you then, but now when i think about it, I needed to know I wasn’t going to be afraid all alone. I needed to know the Christians and Spiritual leaders in my life would show up for my kids. I had one amazing family take my other kids, pick them up from wrestling and be with them. I went to the Hospital that night and cried. They kept her over night and every time she coughed, sneezed, or moved I thought she was dying. I needed someone to enter into my grief. My sister n law called me that night. She just started weeping. I needed that. I needed to know I wasn’t weak or faithless for falling apart.
In the following days I was so afraid to let her out of my sight. My youngest daughter was afraid she was going to die in the night. They both slept in our room. I waited for someone to show up, no one did.
Fast forward to this summer. I had to get a severe back surgery. My last 3 discs had collapsed and my spine shifted forward. I had nerve pain that most days sent me to the edge of the abyss and back. I was terrified. They were going to put screws and rods in my back to fix my spine. This was my 5th surgery. I woke up from surgery with my right leg unable to move. I was so scared. Again I heard from the people who should love, pray and show up the most” let us know if there is anything we can do for you”. What do I say? Do I say I’m scared? Do I tell them I’m terrified of being crippled? Do I say please come pray with my kids, show them you care? I had a friend of ours come visit, no he’s not a Christian yet he came. My husband stayed in Cleveland all week. I had a drain in my spine and my right leg was completely numb all the way to the tips of my toes. If we are like sheep, I can’t imagine a shepherd saying to his flock” hey let me know what you need”. I’m sure the sheep would answer,” well that grass looks a little better over there, or “hey I fell in a ditch today could you help me.” I think you’d hear the frantic bleating and cries from the terrified sheep.
What did I need after my surgery? I needed to know that all this suffering had a reason. I needed someone to come talk to me and tell me they were praying. I needed my kids to know that Christians cared about their mom and would stand in the gap for her.
Am I being selfish? I mean they brought me meals right? Listen we are supposed to be God’s people and if God’s people can’t show up for the hurting then what in the world are we here for? Jesus is for the weak and hurting. We should be for the weak and hurting. Do you know how hard it’s been to recover from that? I did not get my leg back as I hoped. They say It “could” come back. They also say I should not have nerve pain.Yet I wake up to pain and go to sleep to pain. I spent many nights alone before our Savior asking questions that may never have an answer here on this earth.
Dear Christians if you know someone going through a trial, a surgery, a death, whatever it may be, please show up for them. They might just want to talk. Maybe send a an encouraging book. Asking the hurting what they need seems a little ignorant. If you see a hungry, homeless man will you say” hey let me know if you need anything”? I hope you’d feed him.
30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
That’s all hurting people are saying. Please show mercy. Do not post get well wishes, Do not ask what you can do. If you see a need, fill it. Go rescue that hurting sheep bleating in the wilderness, it can be a lonely, scary place. They need you.