Plan B

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Okay I wasn’t sure if this quite home educating but it is for me. I am reading a devotional by Ann Voskamp, called One thousand gifts. I started off reading on her site online. Probably a couple of months ago. My sister showed me. Then I forgot about it and My daughters piano teacher posted and I was like, “oh yeah.” So I bought her devotional, So it would be in my hands. Tuesday I read something so profound . I shared it Grandma Barker. I have been thinking on this one paragraph all week. It resonates with me because of Joel(with his dyslexia) and something in my past I have struggled with. I Listen to others home educating stories and think, I want that to be MY story. Here’s what she writes;
No, God? No, God, we won’t take what You give. No, God Your plans are a gutted, bleeding mess, and I didn’t sign up for this and You really thought I’d go for this? No,God, this is ugly and this is a mess and can’t You get anything right and just haul all this pain out of here and I’ll take it from here,thanks. And God? Thanks for Nothing.
Isn’t this how we feel. Can you not hear yourself in this anguish of spirit? No thanks God. I’ll take plan B. I mean I don’t think it gets more raw than that .If I stopped there it would be blasphemy . So the part I want to continue with is here:

I open a Bible, and His plans, startling,lie there barefaced. It’s hard to believe it, when I read it, and I have to come back to it many times, feel long across those words, make sure they are real. His love letter forever silences any doubts. He means to rename us-to return us to our true names, our true selves. He means to heal our soul holes.

Can you just picture it? The Creator reaching in and like a careful surgeon, repairing those soul holes. Oh ,how I know I need that. I picture a Father comforting His child. I see my husband holding my tired children.
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So that’s a glimpse of why I get up early. To know this God who wants to heal our soul holes. Grandma Barker and I both agreed what a startling revelation that was. As you home educate today I hope it is for you too.
ann voskamp winter 011

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